Relationship Design

A few weeks ago it was refreshing to have a college student that I have been seeing for individual therapy request that I meet and do a session with a girlfriend he has known for one week! Could they already have deep, unresolved issues this quickly? I was curious. However, he merely wanted to structure and guide their relationship so that problems could be avoided! So in the session I talked for a few minutes alone with each and then we all talked together. I had both take notes. We talked about communication, spirituality, resolving issues with fair fighting techniques, sex, and dealing with anger. We covered nuances of relationships such as deception, honesty, revealing the past, social media decisions, and not allowing their relationship to interfere with other life aspects of each ie. school, family, and personal life and career goals.
It was a pleasure to help “design” and address the pitfalls and delights that each can toss into this new relationship. So many families and marriages I see have already suffered years of abuse, trauma, and violence. Would that more people sought therapy in the beginning of a relationship!

Betty J Wittels: Licensed Professional Counselor in Tucson, AZ

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